The Monochrome Spectrum: Ultraviolet
by TerraChasma
Summary: Epilogue to The Monochrome Spectrum. Even now, a whole year after Beyal's death, Chase still can't bring himself to let the little monk go.


**The Monochrome Spectrum: Ultraviolet**

* * *

"I'm sorry, Beyal. So, so sorry," Chase whispered, the effort it took to formulate those few words enough to consume his entire body in the tendrils of fear. He was shaking so hard he could barely move, his eyes hidden behind the watercolour curtains of demon silk, screams clutching his cheeks in a tight, terrified embrace; diamonds in the endless grey. "It's not enough, I know. Not nearly enough. But it's all I have left. It's all that you've left of me. You'd think it would get easier, right? It's been a whole year since you...and it still hurts more than I'll ever know. You're all I think about. The others are starting to get worried. They say I should have moved on by now, but I...I'm not sure that's ever going to happen. And I'm sorry about that, too. I know you never wanted to hurt me,"

In the space of a second he'd let a laugh escape, harshly bitter, lacking in any of the humour it might once have held. "Hell, you never wanted to hurt anyone. You were the gentlest of us all. Kind of ironic, don't you think? In the end...you caused more pain than any of us. Not that it's your fault. You didn't ask for any of this to happen,"

Raindrops brushed against his face, the sensation of wetness all too familiar to him by now. A quizzical glance upwards brought the sky into focus, stretching out forever into an overcast eternity, an endless blend of monochrome. Tears fell from the clouds and washed over him in bursts of cold, cold flame. It seemed like even the elements were mourning, crying for the loss of Beyal, just like he was. "Jinja misses you. She won't admit it, but I've heard her talking to you when she thinks she's alone. Bren pretends to have forgotten, but I know he hasn't. He won't ever forget you. And Dax...he's been permanently angry, ever since you left. It's like he hates the whole world, and he won't let any of us through. You were our innocence, Bey, our happiness. You made us whole. Now you're gone, and I don't think any of us are ever going to get over it. How can you, really? How can you forget something like this? Or someone like you?"

This time his laugh was more like a sob, choked with the blood of pain as his face suddenly crumpled. "Where are you, Beyal? Why'd you have to leave us? I love you. I miss you. I still need you with me. You're a part of me; you were back then and you will be forever. I know you can hear me. I know you're out there, listening. And do you know something? I want to hate you. I want to hate you for everything you've put me through, but I can't. I could never hate you, however hard I tried. And I...I forgive you for leaving me, okay? For everything. I forgive everything you've done,"

* * *

_"Chase? Are you there? Can you hear me? Please tell me you can hear me, Chase,"_

* * *

"Beyal? I...oh, Bey, is it you? Is it really you?"

* * *

_"Yes, it is me. I cannot stay long, but I have to...have to tell you something, Chase, before I leave,"_

* * *

"What is it? What do you need to tell me? Beyal...oh, God, Bey, I..."

* * *

_"Hush, Chase. It will be alright in the end. And this wasn't your fault either, you know. You no longer needed me. My destiny, to guide you until you were finally ready to guide yourselves, had been fulfilled. It was my time to go. We will see each other again, on a day far into the distant future, and that is another promise but now...I have to leave. I miss you as well. I have seen you struggling, hurting, fighting through each new day. I see your fear. You are afraid, Chase. Afraid of being alone...but you are never truly alone. I will remain with you for as long as I can,"_

* * *

"What? That's crazy! Of course I still need you! And...wait, no! Beyal! You can't leave me! Not again!"

* * *

_"I...am sorry, Chase. So sorry,"_

* * *

"Beyal? Are you there?"

Desperately, he called again and again, setting the ashes alight with the torment of his cries, but only the shadows echoed his pain. Once again he was alone, out of place, and the world that had come to life so briefly was dying once more. The clouds had vanished, but the sunlight pretended no semblance of warmth, ultraviolet light burning into his bones and seething across the fragments of his skin with the force of a thousand storms; it was a colour that lay far beyond the spectrum's reach, and yet the pain it gave him was far more intense than any he had ever known.

Compared to the heat in his chest, the silence of his still heart, it was almost a relief to feel the physical agony once more. It distracted him from his own mind. Beyal was gone, again. And Chase had failed, again. Failed to bring him back. Failed to alleviate the darkness that lay over them both; failed to do anything except reaffirm all they had once had and everything they still shared, even in death.

"I love you, Beyal," he said aloud, certain that the monk could still hear him, even if he couldn't reply. "And one day, I'm going to find you again. One day I'll see you. I swear it. I will always love you, and I won't rest until you're here with me, by my side. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll do anything, if I can only get you back,"

He could feel Jinja's presence behind him, a sudden, silent ghost just a few metres away, and knew deep down that it was time for him to go. With a final, lingering glance at the shrouded gravestone, he turned and began to walk shakily towards her outstretched hand, their eyes meeting in a gaze that was shot through with sorrow and an attempt at understanding that neither could follow through on as his last promise wove itself into the very air they both breathed.

"One day I'll see you again. And I'm willing to wait. I'll wait for as long as I have to, just as long as I can have you back. I need you, Beyal. Always. And I love you. I love you now and I loved you then and I'll love you for as long as I still can. So...this isn't goodbye. This is just for a little while..." he stopped and smiled, a secret smile touched with secrets taken from far beyond the grave. "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

* * *

**Wow...I wasn't expecting so many people to love The Monochrome Spectrum as much as they did, and I'd like to say thank you to everyone who read it and reviewed! It means so much to me that you all like my stories. This little plot bunny came to me after I'd finished the original, and I just couldn't seem to let it go...I felt that the ending still had some potential, so I started writing and this little epilogue was the result!**


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